Hot or not?

Can I be perimenopausal if I don't have any symptoms? I swear that I am ready - please, Lord, no more babies! - but the monthly marauder keeps visiting me as regular as clockwork. I have so many of the other symptoms - and God knows I feel about 80 - but the fertility clock just keeps on ticking. Can I buy out now? I'm ready! How can someone who feels so crickety be so fertile!?! God has GOT to be kidding if he sent me a baby now - although I was ready 5 years ago and, hence, my last baby joined our family much to my joy. But now??? Cripes...

I did my yoga stretches this morning as best I could. My old age version of the Sun Salutation. I remember so clearly when it seemed silly to have a whole range of asanas - I could do anything, my body could bend anyway and all the postures seemed easy and superfluous. At that point in my life, in my mid twenties with one child, a full time job and an unhappy marriage, the best part of yoga class was disappearing into the child pose or prone asana and let my tension disappear. I REMEMBER it so well....my body is no longer my own. I have creaky squeaky painful joints where I used to bend in half. Sigh. My body craves yoga. It subconsciously begs me for it. Why don't I do it regularly like I used to? Because it hurts. Because it's hard now. Silly, huh? When it was so easy, I did it daily for years and enjoyed it. Now that I NEED it and my body loves it (when I'm finished I feel 5 years younger), I put it off. Well, I am working to change that. Thanks to Flylady (at www.flylady.net), I've learned I can do anything for 15 minutes and if I attach it to a daily routine it will become part of my life, so I will find a way to add it for a few minutes in the morning and at night. I never thought I'd have a clean house, shiny sink, decluttered closet and actually do a morning and night skincare routine - and I do now - so I know I can do this. I know I can, I know I can, I know I can.....is it working yet? :)

I'll talk about the waist management issues later...ugh..but at least with that, I know it's very attainable. I've done it, I can do it, I will do it. It's just a matter of being ready. Holidays are always hard since Mom died. Every Christmas since she passed three years ago, I have eaten and shopped my way though the holidays and ended up with extra weight and clothes to start off each year. At least this year it was less. I love ya, Mom :)